As you use and apply this information, you will soon realize the variants possible and come up with your own solutions. Let's face it, all you're doing is prying a round piece of metal off a round piece of glass. To accompany each example, I have instituted a skill-rating system. After the instructions, there is a beer bottle system for degrees of difficulty.


EASY MEDIUM HARD


I wish you luck and happy beer drinking. Always remember: NEVER DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE IF YOU BREAK THE GLASS!

Fire Hydrant

1. Follow arrow on top, "Open"
2. Place cap in recess between screw and nut
3. Press down
4. Drink

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Police Car

1. Make sure nobody is in the car
2. Place cap in trunk lid
3. Press down
4. Drink
5. Don't get caught
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Toilet

1. Place cap in between valve and pipe
2. Press down
3. Drink
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Pool Bridge

1. Hold bridge near the end
2. Place cap in opening
3. Press down
4. Don't spill any on the table
5. Drink
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Newspaper Vending Machine

1. Pretend to read headlines
2. Place cap in coin return
3. Press down
4. Drink
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Computer

1. Place cap in hard drive slot
2. Pry off carefully
3. Drink
4. Play some more computer games

note: this will probably
scratch your computer, but it will open your beer
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Roller Blades

1. Place cap in between shoe and blade
2. Pry off
3. Drink
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Belt Buckle

1. Undo buckle (don't let pants fall)
2. Adjust buckle accordingly
3. Pry off
4. Drink
5. Don't forget to buckle up
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Ski Binding

1. Ski all day
2. Go to lodge
3. Lean ski against wall
4. Place beer in toe binding
5. Press down
6. Drink
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Teeth

1. Must be totally desperate
2. Place cap inside mouth
3. Bite off (be careful*)
4. Drink and enjoy

*Remember kids, don't try this at home!
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Got a better idea? Let me know.
brett@brettstern.com