Fire Hydrant
1. Follow arrow on top, "Open"
2. Place cap in recess between screw and nut
3. Press down
4. Drink



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Police Car
1. Make sure nobody is in the car
2. Place cap in trunk lid
3. Press down
4. Drink
5. Don't get caught
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Toilet
1. Place cap in between valve and pipe
2. Press down
3. Drink

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Pool Bridge
1. Hold bridge near the end
2. Place cap in opening
3. Press down
4. Don't spill any on the table
5. Drink


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Newspaper Vending Machine
1. Pretend to read headlines
2. Place cap in coin return
3. Press down
4. Drink

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Computer
1. Place cap in hard drive slot
2. Pry off carefully
3. Drink
4. Play some more computer games







note: this will probably
scratch your computer, but it will open your beer
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Roller Blades
1. Place cap in between shoe and blade
2. Pry off
3. Drink


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Belt Buckle
1. Undo buckle (don't let pants fall)
2. Adjust buckle accordingly
3. Pry off
4. Drink
5. Don't forget to buckle up


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Ski Binding
1. Ski all day
2. Go to lodge
3. Lean ski against wall
4. Place beer in toe binding
5. Press down
6. Drink

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Teeth
1. Must be totally desperate
2. Place cap inside mouth
3. Bite off (be careful*)
4. Drink and enjoy







*Remember kids, don't try this at home!
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Got a better idea? Let me know.
brett@brettstern.com